I heard we made out
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
