Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
this will be a night to untag.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
