Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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