Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
