I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize