I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
