Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My bed smells like the plague
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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