Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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