Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Semen is not good for contacts.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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