how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Are we still banned from the library?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
