you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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