3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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