So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
