Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize