Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
