tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
a search helicopter?!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
