I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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