Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize