dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
