fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
