My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
