O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
