There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
