the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
