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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
