No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Randomize