Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
