those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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