He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
