I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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