I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
