he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
