Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
