I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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