she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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