Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
