my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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