i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
a search helicopter?!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
