I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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