You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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