My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
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I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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