Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...

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  (630): i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college... http://tfl.nu/0xsv
  Replies (33) Good night (2920) Bad night (646)
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  (323): View more from California

  Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you

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  (323): Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you http://tfl.nu/a4zz
  Replies (11) Good night (687) Bad night (3241) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what if every blade of grass was a penis?

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  (610): what if every blade of grass was a penis? http://tfl.nu/ka1d
  Replies (34) Good night (4126) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them

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  (925): i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them http://tfl.nu/sgsu
  Replies (10) Good night (685) Bad night (2892) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?

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  (516): is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon? http://tfl.nu/8edy
  Replies (45) Good night (5454) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day

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  (912): i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day http://tfl.nu/5rbo
  Replies (29) Good night (5608) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he looks like a really good dad on facebook

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  (704): he looks like a really good dad on facebook http://tfl.nu/pzsa
  Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (3568) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker

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  (215): if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker http://tfl.nu/asrh
  Replies (31) Good night (630) Bad night (4868) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).

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  (812): At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling. (1-812): Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h). http://tfl.nu/pr6e
  Replies (23) Good night (813) Bad night (2690) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.

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  (831): I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer. http://tfl.nu/gejp
  Replies (18) Good night (2655) Bad night (1929) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?

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  (310): So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned? http://tfl.nu/6bz7
  Replies (15) Good night (5084) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.

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  (919): He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say. http://tfl.nu/o436
  Replies (8) Good night (814) Bad night (2287) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.

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  (815): This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro. http://tfl.nu/5jtw
  Replies (8) Good night (3432) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja

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  (973): She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja http://tfl.nu/0g6m
  Replies (9) Good night (1379) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.

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  (269): I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them. http://tfl.nu/bvne
  Replies (6) Good night (1425) Bad night (398)

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