you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
3 2 1 whiskey
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.