Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.