Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  Just got yelled at by a priest...again.

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  (916): Just got yelled at by a priest...again. http://tfl.nu/n99j
  Replies (5) Good night (1515) Bad night (721)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.

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  (443): There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers. http://tfl.nu/zfa6
  Replies (24) Good night (1281) Bad night (2941)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"

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  (631): Strippers tramp stamp says "mom" http://tfl.nu/an62
  Replies (21) Good night (882) Bad night (4501)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.

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  (724): I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car. http://tfl.nu/2u4v
  Replies (17) Good night (4634) Bad night (756)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number

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  (709): I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number http://tfl.nu/l21z
  Replies (12) Good night (5478) Bad night (1478)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.

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  (956): You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head. http://tfl.nu/2njk
  Replies (22) Good night (5755) Bad night (1030)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America

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  (615): I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/yesg
  Replies (20) Good night (4274) Bad night (982)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.

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  (901): I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony. http://tfl.nu/6cs5
  Replies (8) Good night (2920) Bad night (1062)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere

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  (989): there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere http://tfl.nu/hg2l
  Replies (12) Good night (1239) Bad night (2919)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex

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  (226): This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex http://tfl.nu/70co
  Replies (7) Good night (1940) Bad night (1086)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.

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  (870): I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer. http://tfl.nu/bxkb
  Replies (5) Good night (2277) Bad night (591)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message

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  (203): I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message http://tfl.nu/s744
  Replies (0) Good night (612) Bad night (355)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We need to make tonight low-budget

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Is this your way of suggesting flasks?

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  (248): We need to make tonight low-budget (1-248): Is this your way of suggesting flasks? http://tfl.nu/fx4j
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (269)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.

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  (479): Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10. http://tfl.nu/l1mx
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (332)
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  (707): View more from California

  He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.

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  (707): He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible. http://tfl.nu/0sea
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (156)

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