yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.