Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa