Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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