your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
