it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
