Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
