he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
