im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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