sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
