He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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