i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So gin and wine won't be happening again
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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