she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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