i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
