she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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