ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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