did you get engaged???
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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