we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
