I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
