Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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