Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
