would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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