Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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