forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
