So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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