Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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