She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
