Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Randomize
