The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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